So I’ve decided to flex my writing skills and came up with two potential series of article ideas, titled “Today I realised…” and “To be Asian, or not to be?”.
Stay tuned. Will attempt after all this assignments, exams and work madness ends, or at least slow down.
What have you guys been up to lately? Any plans for the summer?
Whenever you’re in uni, you seem to refer to your time by semesters. All you can think about what week it is in terms of uni semesters, and when week 12 would come so that all assignments will be done and dusted. Then, all’s left are those dreaded exams which would also be over in another two weeks.
So we anticipate the end of semester, chanting in our minds “I just want to get through this semester and bask in the sun all summer long”. And then we start to plan ahead, what’s gonna happen next semester? Which subjects should I take on? Can I survive with 4 subjects and 50 hours of work per week from April til July? Should I take summer classes? Should I start applying for internships now?
Two and a half more semesters. I am desperate to get through this because I am desperate for the light at the end of this tunnel, especially since the last tunnel flooded and drowned me.
I think I’ll go home and mull this over
Before I cram it down my throat
At long last it’s crashed, its colossal mass
Has broken up into bits into my moat
- The Shins
So right now, I’m at the libray at uni. I got the best spot in da house because I’m here at the ungodly hour of 8.20am. And living 1.5 hours away means that I got out of bed at 6am this morning to make it here at 8.20am. I probably have the label ‘nerd’ from all my classmates by now, since most of them know that I’m always at the library. Maybe I should lie, and play it like I don’t do any uni work, then when results come out I won’t look like a dork if i didn’t do too well.
The library is dead quiet in the mornings, I got to choose one of the few Mac computers and a corner spot by the window with a view of Swanston St and everything. But I don’t feel like starting on my work yet. I feel a bit jaded considering I’ve been awake since 4am, lying in bed staring at the ceiling as if it may hold the secret or code to all my unanswered questions. Unfortunately, my bedroom ceiling is just a nice neutral cream colour and nothing else.
Say hi to my schedule. Somewhere in there, I have to squeeze in a week of 9-5 work hours. This christmas, I’m asking santa for a clone.
You’ve got to ask yourself in every situation: are you the chicken or the pig? The chicken is involved but the pig is committed. The question is, are you involved or are you committed?
True commitment takes effort and sacrifice.
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Oh how people understand so little of the true meaning of commitment. Divorces, breakups, quitting, giving up… So much easier than toughing it out with all your heart and soul. Nobody cares about hardwork and sacrifice anymore. They’d rather have the good things here and now.
Maybe sometimes we just have to stop fighting, and learn that no matter how much you love someone, they just can’t love you back the same way. And then we proceed to breathe deep, let the pain subside, and start building our tower of hope again.
Starting over is never easy, but always worth it if we are willing to stand up again. And maybe one day, just maybe, I’ll meet prince charming, one who would come charging and fight to his death for me. Or he could just make me laugh til my tummy hurts, cause I’ll be happy with that too.
If not, I’ll just be the old lady with 5 German Shepherds. It’s a win-win situation.
So erm… what happened to August?
Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.
Pain goes hand in hand with time. Pain comes in all forms. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals, with time. Because there are no easy solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.
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I feel like myself again. The good old Meredith-like dark and twisty self. And somehow I knew the bright and shiny wouldn’t last. It’s as if I was expecting it. I like myself sarcastic and cynical, it gives a very different perspective because sometimes the shininess just blurs your vision and not allow you to see what’s really there. And somehow some way, we all gotta learn that good things don’t last.
The mid-semester break started off well with an interview with a media advertising agency which turned out better than expected. Who said people in advertising are bitches? Or is it too early for that comment maybe? Hmm. Drinks and red meat with good friends always come best after business, or rather, uni affairs. And at this rate, old flames will be what they’re meant to be – old and tucked under the bed, where all the dusty memories go.
Haven’t shared an outfit post in a while. Here’s how I tried to mix friday business casual with friday night out with the girls.
“It’s not that I don’t care, of course I still care.
The thing is, I don’t want to care anymore.”
Upon hearing these words from a wise friend, I realised she just summed up my feelings in a sentence. And to think some people need to write a book to do that.
