When I was young girl, I admired my career-driven mom a lot. I wanted to be just like her – the office suits, sexy heels, charismatic personality, the nice car, the happy family – I wanted it all. I always had big plans, ambitions to do things, not just anything but BIG things. I always aimed high and dreamt of more. And I could never comprehend why some people just don’t have the same passion as me. Isn’t it normal for one to strive for the best? Doesn’t everyone want to be at the top? Why do some people chose to settle?
10 years later, I realise I am still wandering around, but I damn sure have not lost my passion. I am a creature of fire and I now have a tattoo that reminds me to shoot for the stars, every single day. Do my best and I won’t have anyone else to blame but myself. Edison had the right idea – I didn’t fail, I just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. Sure, I have no idea what I really want to do yet but I still have those trusty 5 year plan and goals to achieve by when and where. Though I must admit I’m great at making these goals and plans but not so good at executing them. But hey, making these goals is the first step right?
And as I grew older (and slightly wiser), I noticed friends who settle and I made it my mission to encourage them to do the opposite. I remember a friend confessing her dreams of being in the fashion world to me, and she was surprised I actually wanted to help her make her dream real. She expected people to dismiss her as being a dreamer, wanting to do the impossible. First of all, why are these people so cruel? Stepping on dreams that are not even yours!
I think a lot of times when I do this encouraging and give them hope, I come across as being pushy, which I suppose is my downfall. But how can I let great potential slip by? Especially if there are in people I care for? What is wrong with wanting only the best for them? I guess my way of pushing myself just doesn’t fit everyone out there.
Most of the time, I realise how little passion people of today have and I feel sad. What happened to that generation of people that had the biggest dreams and the utmost passion to achieve them? Have we all succumbed to this digital age, settling in front of our computers, living a hedonistic yet unfulfilling life? What happened to those good old virtues of hardwork, dedication, sacrifice and priorities?
Sometimes, I feel oddly misplaced in this world of hedonism and pleasure-seeking, with my big dreams and grand plans for the future.
Age is really a ‘wake up’ call, isnt it? I like the fact that I have found what I want as my career, a passion or dream I have been chasing. But reality does not always help. I can only comfort myself by thinking that at the very least, I am fighting for what I want and at the end of the long battle, I know I can only become stronger and will look back with a sense of achievement.
Let’s keep the ember of ‘youth’ burning!
Comment by hikari* — Monday, August 24, 2009 @ 9:04 am